I was going to start this by talking about the significance of the humor in The Sopranos, about how the show's creators can break up intense scenes with light, humorous scenes, like Shakespeare does in his tragedies, and how they can even throw in some humdingers in the middle of deadly serious scenes, but I'm not going to get into all that. I just know that whenever Little Carmine is on the screen, I make sure I'm not drinking anything. You know, because I don't want to spit out the drink? From laughing? Nevermind.
Here are the best ones I can find. Let me know if you have others:
"Quasimodo predicted all of this." -Bobby
"She's an albacore around my neck." -Johnny Soprano, about his wife Livia
Christopher claims that Issac Newton created gravity after someone hit Newton in the head with an apple.
"I agree with that Senator Sanitorium. He says if we let this stuff go too far, pretty soon we'll be fucking dogs." -Tony, talking to Dr. Melfi about homosexuality
"Revenge is like serving cold cuts." - Tony
"A pint of blood costs more than a gallon of gold." -Little Carmine, ever waxing philosophical
"We're in a fucking stagmire." Little Carmine, who I predict will run for President as a Republican in the season finale
At the screening, Little Carmine's daughter points out the interesting juxtaposition of the crucifix with the creepy figurine, to which Little Carmine replies, "You're very observant: the sacred and the propane."
"I give him his present, this mellifluous box..." - Little Carmine.
"A guy like that is going out with a woman, he could technically not have penissary contact with her Volvo" - Tony
"There's no stigmata connected with going to a shrink" - Little Carmine
"Create a little dysentery in the ranks" -Christopher
"You know, Sung Tizzoo! The Chinese Prince Matchabelli!" -Paulie
"...what with the passing of Vito Sr., and all that entrails." - Tony, psychologizing about Vito Jr.'s adolescent difficulties (Thanks, Glen)
"I was prostate with grief." -Tony
"This alteration with Coco..." -Little Carmine to Tony, after Tony had kicked the teeth out of Coco's head. This is my favorite kind of malaprop, where the second meaning actually makes sense. There was an alteration during the altercation.
"You're at a precipice of an enormous crossroads." -Little Carmine
Let me know if you have any others. I'll be updating the list, and maybe adding a movie clip of my favorite Little Carmine scene. If I recall, he throws out about five malaprops in less than a minute. For now, here's a different treat: