My older brother has talked for years about wanting to get a Corvette. I get the sense that driving a nice car isn't on Mark's wish list; it's on his need list. He even knows which kind of Corvette he wants. I suppose I feel that way about other things, like mountain bikes and iPods, but I've never come close to having the car-as-a-status-symbol mindset.
If I were to rent a car this weekend, here's how the conversation would go:
Rental Car Guy: Welcome Mister, uh, Bringhurst, what kind of car would you like to drive?
Me: It doesn't matter. The cheapest one that has an air conditioner and stereo.
RCG: Oh surely you have some preference!
Me [Not wanting to offend]: OK, I'm in kind of a party mood. How about a Ford Festiva?
RCG: We don't have any Ford Festivas.
Me: Are you sure? Can you check in the back?
RCG: No, we don't have any Ford Festivas. Perhaps--
Me: How about a Saturn Outlook?
RCG: We have an Outlook, but it's gray.
Me: No, that's too bleak. How about a Ford Focus?
RCG: We lack that.
Me: Then how about a Toyota Echo?
RCG: I'm sorry, sir. We don't have an Echo.
Me: I'm sorry, sir. We don't have an Echo.
RCG: I don't understand.
Me: I don't understand.
RCG: Why are you repeating me?
Me: Why are you repeating me?
RCG: That's not very funny, sir. In fact, it sounds dangerously close to a pun, which is the lowest form of humor.
Me: Why are imaginary car rental guys so humorless?
RCG: I don't know. Frankly, I'm not interested in post-modernism.
Me: OK, then can you point me to a Dodge Dart?
That's about enough of that. I'm pretty sure I have something else to do.
[Special thanks to Steve for providing a few new car puns. Feel free to add your own in comments, and I'll "leverage" them.]