Thursday, April 3, 2008

When Children Are Not in the House

My sister-in-law Kim took Luke and Max down to Portland for a couple of days. Their absence has given me a moment to reflect on the difference between having children in the house and not having children in the house. Here are my observations:

* When children are not in the house, we can eat dinner and play poker with friends without dealing with a babysitter.

* When children are not in the house, I have an animal's sense of freedom. Nothing is stopping me from sleeping on a window sill.

* When children are not in the house, I am more likely to caress, fondle, and mount my wife, Wendy.

* When children are not in the house, there is no bickering with 4-year-old children who have the rhetorical skills of right-wing radio callers. I am not reprimanded for helping a boy put his belt through a loop. Nor am I reprimanded for not helping a boy put his belt through a loop.

* When children are not in the house, it's quiet. Too quiet.

* When children are not in the house, I miss them. Come back, monkey boys!