My sister-in-law Kim took Luke and Max down to Portland for a couple of days. Their absence has given me a moment to reflect on the difference between having children in the house and not having children in the house. Here are my observations:* When children are not in the house, we can eat dinner and play poker with friends without dealing with a babysitter.
* When children are not in the house, I have an animal's sense of freedom. Nothing is stopping me from sleeping on a window sill.
* When children are not in the house, I am more likely to caress, fondle, and mount my wife, Wendy.
* When children are not in the house, there is no bickering with 4-year-old children who have the rhetorical skills of right-wing radio callers. I am not reprimanded for helping a boy put his belt through a loop. Nor am I reprimanded for not helping a boy put his belt through a loop.
* When children are not in the house, it's quiet. Too quiet.
* When children are not in the house, I miss them. Come back, monkey boys!
"I am more likely to caress, fondle, and mount my wife, Wendy." What a romantic. I'm sure you could say the same thing about your bike.
ReplyDeleteAs funny as the post was, you've been upstaged by mary.
ReplyDeleteHow typical are you, Bob? You begin missing the boys only after your "poker" fun. (I wish I knew why you bring the bad puns out of me. And the parenthetical asides.)
ReplyDelete"Rhetorical skills of a right-wing radio caller": Now that's truly funny.