Got a punch line?
Monday, December 10, 2007
What Would Freud Think?
Luke and Max have a new game they like to play. It's called The Penis Game. Here's how it works. One of the boys announces that his penis is gone, and his brother, who somehow represents the lost organ, jumps up and runs away. The fledgling castrato chases the brother/penis around the house and shouts, "Come back, penis!" To become whole, he must catch the brother and drag him upstairs to the changing table.
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THE ARISTOCRATS!
ReplyDeleteBotched
Sounds like my prom night...
ReplyDeleteIs it phallus-y to say that the fruit of your loins enjoy male bonding at its quasi-literal best?
ReplyDeleteI had to rack my second favorite organ to come up with that one -- and it still sucks (though not in an anatomically specific way, I hope). And to borrow from the Wood man once more, it may explain a lot to know that I'm one of the few males to suffer from penis envy. Don't let your boys go to that extreme.
When I found out I was having a boy (and not a precious sweet little baby girl) next spring, it's thinking of stories like this that still make me vaguely uncertain about it all. Is this what boys do? I don't get boys. I can't raise a little boy. Now, if it was girls playing the "Come Back Boobies!" game, I'd be much more qualified to play along.
ReplyDeleteDoes your wife ever feel mystified by the little men she is raising? Do they scare her a little bit, or does that all disappear once they arrive?
I suppose I will find out myself in just a few months!
PS Props for teaching them the correct name. I would be tempted to call it the "wing-wang" or "the place we don't touch in public."
- Gillian
Gillian, this is the kind of thing that boys do only every now and then. It's not a constant battle. And I do think this kind of game is a fairly healthy way of dealing with castration anxiety. The only thing that irritates me is the scatological humor. When I say, "Eat your noodles," Luke will sometimes say, "Eat your poopy" and Max will chime in with "Poop your poopy" and they'll laugh like village idiots. The only lower form of humor is puns. I'm not looking forward to that age. Oh, and congratulations!
ReplyDeleteYou may poo poo puns, Mr. Smartypants, but you haven't put me in my proper place 'til you peg prodigious alliteration beneath potty humor, too. So put that in your pipe and poop it.
ReplyDeleteBTW, my wife is looking forward to the day I outgrow all this, too. Fortunately, our lone child, a daughter, shows no signs of the aforementioned afflictions. :-)
Alas! All alliteration ails me alarmingly.
ReplyDeleteI have 3 younger sisters (not to mention 1 little brother), so I can say with authority, girls do the "poopy talk" thing, too. There is no escaping poopy when raising children, it would seem.
ReplyDeleteAll jokes aside, very happy I'm having a boy. I hope he's as twinkle-eyed and rascally as your two appear to be. My fave Bob's Top Five is still Top Five Ways My Sons Disappoint Me (I think the title goes). But I still feel like I should be required to take a class and get certified before I'm permitted to take home a son!
Proclivities towards poopy talk aside, raising boys is very different from raising girls. We have two daughters and a son in the middle. The son (3 YO), all on his own, discovered on our last trip to visit his [male] cousin that both could pee into the same toilet simultaneously and do battle luke/vader style with no assistance from video games or toy light sabers of any kind.
ReplyDeleteGlove, when our first daugher was a week old, I kept thinking to myself, "when are her parents going to take her away from us," and "i can't believe the hospital hans't sent someone to check on us."
ReplyDeleteBotched
P.S. Steve, you are my hero.
Gillian, speaking as "the wife" I've been amazingly unfrightened and unmystified of our boys. I always thought I really wanted a girl and had a moment's disappointment when we found out both the twins were boys. I guess it is something that changed when they were born. They simply became the two amazing and amazingly demanding little ones we suddenly had in our lives. Maybe the "boyness" came on slowly enough as they emerged out of the sleep, cry, eat, poop stage that I just grew into it as they did.
ReplyDeleteGood question, btw. I'd never really stopped to think it through.
-Wendy
Sounds like a game you and Robert played after a bunch of beer in Moab many years ago. I think I have pictures.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWendy -
ReplyDeleteThanks for replying. I've felt a little guilty for the way my heart sank (only a little!) when I found out my baby was a boy, but I've heard that it's common, and that it all disappears when he's born, and I'll wonder how I ever could have wanted anything else. Reassurance from fellow moms helps a lot. I have only one friend who's had kids (two girls), so I get my reassurance from strangers over the internet - I appreciate yours!
Thank you again, and now I'll stop hijacking this comments section. :)
- G Love/Gillian/Mommy to Jack in 20 weeks and counting . . . and member of top five fans of Bob's Top Five, if I may nominate myself.
Sorry I don't have a comment on the ever popular "Catch the Penis" game, but I have a comment on another matter.
ReplyDeleteActually, it is more of a question.. or perhapse a query.
How the heck are you?
Kudos on the clever disguising of my name by the way!
Your blog is as amusing as you are.
Schmerie
Schmerie? Really? Tell me which town you're from.
ReplyDeleteI just looked at your profile. Hi, Schmerie!
ReplyDeleteHi Bob!
ReplyDeleteI was glad to discover your blog and find that you are well. The twins and Wendy sound great. I have four kids myself, one of whom is a fourteen year old daughter. I thought my little kids were tough but a teenage daughter is tougher!
With the exception of going through a major mid-life crisis, I am happy too.
Schmerie