| Person of Bad Conduct | What to Call Them |
| The guy who yells at cyclists from a passenger window | Assclown |
| The corpulent man at the next table who blows his nose like a goose and mumbles something like "Mebs" for no reason | Douchelord |
| Woman who instructs you on your way out the door to pick up some fucking Menthol Lites or don't come the fuck home | Battle Axe |
| The server who ignores you the whole meal and then puts on a big smile when she gives you the check and explains how busy she is | Slutmonkey |
| The guy who comes to a complete stop in the right lane and makes a slow left turn | You don't call him anything; you just check out his demographic, because you have a working hypothesis... |
| A politician who doesn't recall anything while testifying | Republican |
| The guy who sets off a bomb in a crowded bus station | Silly Goose |
| The guy who calls someone a "Fucktard" | Fuckwit |
| A manager who yells at workers | Captain Happy |
| A guy who calls people with children "breeders" | Dog Fucker |
| The slick guy who talks aloud into an ear phone in a public place | Tit |
| A guy from Colorado Springs | Asshole |
| They guy who throws cigarette butts into a urinal | Turd Bloom |
| The person with an ongoing car alarm problem | Pudsniffer |
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
What to Call Bad People
Warning: This entry contains language of a most foul and degrading nature. So deal, motherfucker!
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This is an extremely useful matrix, Mr. Bringhurst. I'll keep a copy in my car, taped to the driver's side vanity mirror.
ReplyDeleteOne question though: For whom would you use the term "dillweed?"
Dillweed - That's for the person who laughs at you when you're throwing up at a party. When you finish throwing up, you say to the person who's still laughing, "You're a dillweed." And then you both have another drink.
ReplyDeleteI believe Hillary perfected the term "I'm sorry I don't recall"
ReplyDelete