Saturday, April 21, 2007

Favorite Malapropisms from The Sopranos

I was going to start this by talking about the significance of the humor in The Sopranos, about how the show's creators can break up intense scenes with light, humorous scenes, like Shakespeare does in his tragedies, and how they can even throw in some humdingers in the middle of deadly serious scenes, but I'm not going to get into all that. I just know that whenever Little Carmine is on the screen, I make sure I'm not drinking anything. You know, because I don't want to spit out the drink? From laughing? Nevermind.

Here are the best ones I can find. Let me know if you have others:

"Quasimodo predicted all of this." -Bobby

"She's an albacore around my neck." -Johnny Soprano, about his wife Livia

Christopher claims that Issac Newton created gravity after someone hit Newton in the head with an apple.

"I agree with that Senator Sanitorium. He says if we let this stuff go too far, pretty soon we'll be fucking dogs." -Tony, talking to Dr. Melfi about homosexuality

"Revenge is like serving cold cuts." - Tony

"A pint of blood costs more than a gallon of gold." -Little Carmine, ever waxing philosophical

"We're in a fucking stagmire." Little Carmine, who I predict will run for President as a Republican in the season finale

At the screening, Little Carmine's daughter points out the interesting juxtaposition of the crucifix with the creepy figurine, to which Little Carmine replies, "You're very observant: the sacred and the propane."

"I give him his present, this mellifluous box..." - Little Carmine.

"A guy like that is going out with a woman, he could technically not have penissary contact with her Volvo" - Tony

"There's no stigmata connected with going to a shrink" - Little Carmine

"Create a little dysentery in the ranks" -Christopher

"You know, Sung Tizzoo! The Chinese Prince Matchabelli!" -Paulie

"...what with the passing of Vito Sr., and all that entrails." - Tony, psychologizing about Vito Jr.'s adolescent difficulties (Thanks, Glen)

"I was prostate with grief." -Tony

"This alteration with Coco..." -Little Carmine to Tony, after Tony had kicked the teeth out of Coco's head. This is my favorite kind of malaprop, where the second meaning actually makes sense. There was an alteration during the altercation.

"You're at a precipice of an enormous crossroads." -Little Carmine

Let me know if you have any others. I'll be updating the list, and maybe adding a movie clip of my favorite Little Carmine scene. If I recall, he throws out about five malaprops in less than a minute. For now, here's a different treat:


  1. I would indeed be amiss if I didn't step up to the silver platter and take this golden opportunity to share wit youse an excellent line from last night's installment plan:

    "...what with the passing of Vito
    Sr., and all that entrails." - Tony, psychologizing about Vito Jr.'s adolescent difficulties

  2. AnonymousJuly 31, 2007

    Paulie talking about dinosaurs being extinct:
    lady: "I think it was a meteor"
    Paulie: "They're all meateaters"

  3. Chrissy says, 'They're messing us up - trying to create dysentary among the ranks'

  4. "For reasons which I will discern in the future..." explaining why he's not going to fight John for bossdom.

  5. I was looking for Moltisanti's dysentery in the ranks quote on Google and came across this blog post, fucking brilliant, I've always enjoyed the malapropisms on the Sopranos, I also love it when Tony hears something, usually from Melfi, and then quotes it out of context elsewhere. Keep up the good work!

  6. AnonymousMay 14, 2008

    "Now for whatever reason, certain incidents have expired lately that in addition to being dangerous could have adverse impact on our respective bottom lines."

    - L'il Carmine.

    I fucken love it!!!

  7. AnonymousJune 10, 2008

    Episode "Kaisha" - sitdown with Tony, Little Carmine, and Phil is a classic scene full of them (a few mentioned above).

    Tony: "I'm willing to move forward. Let the past be bygones."

  8. On episode "Watching Too Much Television," Adriana tells Christopher her uterus was pierced in a medical procedure. He replies, "Both of them?"

  9. "He's the hair apparent" from Episode "fortunate son"

  10. Tony explains why Junior isn't bringing in business after having a surgical procedure on his groin: "He has to piss in a cathode tube..."

  11. My favorite is Tony's mispronunciation of "amour fou" as "our mofo". Genius, and too funny.

  12. "...It represents the sacred and the 'propane'..." -Little Carmine.

  13. Tony to his mother: "It's more like a hotel by Captain Teebs." Misquoting Dr. Melfi's "like a hotel in Cap D'Antibe"

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  15. From Little Carmine: "Historically, historical changes have come out of war."

  16. Paulie: "It was Mayham" ... That was even the title of the episode ("Mayham")!

  17. AnonymousJune 02, 2010

    In the Pine Barrens episode where Paulie and Christopher are chasing Valery the Russian, Tony tells Paulie he was with the interior ministry of Checnya and Paulie repeats to Chris "he was interior decorator" ............awesome

  18. AnonymousJune 12, 2010

    In the final episode (I think?), Tony and the agent are talking about terrorism threats and AJ's obsession with it all and Tony asks if he is "making a molehill" out of this.

  19. Re the June 02 post, Paulie also mangled Tony's reference to the Russian killing all those Chechnyans "...this guy killed (x) Czechoslovakians.."
    The funniest are the screwups from Melfi's advice (some listed above).
    Also, from the reruns on A&E, some of the euphemisms dubbed are hilarious. The one I like most is " malefactor..." for the MF word with the same lip movements.

  20. AnonymousJuly 19, 2010

    Li'l Carmine, after Tony suggests he step up after Johnny Sack dies: "You never thought you'd mutter those words, did you?"

  21. From Christopher: "That's the flying ointment."

  22. Christopher says to Ben Kingsley, to which he smiles, that TV show Law and Order SUV.

  23. Tony mentioned to Melfi that Jackie Jr.'s death had all the "earmarks" of a drug hit.